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Satanic Rites 2
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Satanic Rites - Issue 2 (1992-08-17)(Destiny).adf
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Lame-Af
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Lame-Af
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1999-12-25
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5KB
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101 lines
}0a0000c22d
{2{e WHY IS AMIGA FORMAT SO LAME?
OR
MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN
{1{a
Recently there has been a bit of talk about {gAF.{a So I thought I would take a
look at it in detail and heres what I thought.
Starting at the {bPD{a update, reviews are by {bPat McDonald{a by the way.
{fLSD Grapevine 8{a; Why the fuck they were reviewing this is beyond me? Sent by
{f17 Bit!{a Talking about other mags here; "Rather than the usual "few programs
plus a bit of waffle" in a naff front end, {fGrapevine{a was very pretty"
Perhaps it might be waffle to him, but why is he reading it anyway? Is he in
the scene?? It wouldn't be of much interest to him if he isn't. Then the
nice chap calls everyone who does something useful with their Amigas
"Socially backward" "Don't let them put you off - everyone was a lamer
once!" I take this to mean that {bPat{a regards himself as not being a lamer,
what do you think? Also notice that {f17 Bit{a sent it to them, although they
set up the venue they didn't do it for the scene, they did it so they could
make money out of their exclusive right to all demos etc. released at the
party. Who were they doing a favour for? Did they bring along all their {bPD{a
for you to copy?
Moving to the {eMail Order section{a, I bet their fucking cheap. Seems to be
more expensive than anyway else.
Why do {gAF{a always put {flame game demos{a on their {fcoverdisks{a and saying how
great they are? Then the next month they are saying how {bshit{a the game is?
While reading well looking at the pictures anyway. I noticed a bloody
advert for {gSega Power!!!!{a
Why the fuck is that in an {cAmiga Mag?{a Just because its the same publishing
company, what a bunch of {efuckless virgins.{a
Looking at what they reviewed this month in the {fSERIOUS{a section. Oh
great its the {fSERIOUS{a section, {fQUICK! SERIOUS{a means add £50-100 quid to
the price and then moan about people not buying it, yeah cool idea.
{cProfessional Page 3 {b£ {a249
{cPageStream 2.2 {b£ {a199
{cProCalc {b£ {a129.96
{cCaligari 2 {b£ {a379
{cEasy Amos {b£ {a34.95
{cPresentation Master {b£ {a140.99
{cAudio Engineer Plus {b£ {a204.30
Can anybody afford these???? (Exception of {fEasy Amos{a, I'm not that poor)
No wonder {dpiracy{a exsists. Which is another thing, why does {gAF{a refuse to note
that {dpiracy{a is alive and kicking?
Another thing which really pissed me off was them insisting on copying out
the manual.
Why do they insist on copying it out not once but EVERY month?
{eHow to format a disk.{a WoW!!! I bet I don't know how to do that, I remember
the first time I got my Ami, didn't take me much common sense to work out
what Initialize did. I'm sure I've seen that before..Let me think..Where
have I seen {e"How to Format a disk"{a before? Perhaps I saw it in the manual
or perhaps it was in {gAF?{a Oh yeah, it was, and the month before and the month
before that as well.... What the {dfuck{a for? EVERY month? {eLameracy rules!!!!!{a
Nice bit at the bottom though. "Next month, we'll take a tour of the drawers
on the {cWorkbench disk{a and see what all the programs on it are for. There's
some fun stuff in there, too. In the meantime, if you have any difficulties
with the stuff you've learnt so far, do write in to {gAF{a, and we'll make a
special effort to answer your letter in print."
Great! I wonder what the clock icon does? Or on {cWB2{a what that {bWBstartup{a is?
How to {ckickstart{a a Wet Bitch perhaps? or {cWank{a off a Baboon? Oh no!!!!
I'll have to wait till next month to find out, what am I going to do in the
meantime?
I suppose I could write in and tell them I can't {einitialize/format{a a {dfucking{a
disk, then they could print it and tell me all over again how to do it?
Why not cut that page out, and put in the {gAF{a top ten positions? Or the
latest ten {cF.A.S.T{a busts?
No chance, perhaps the positions but not the {cF.A.S.T{a busts have they had ten
yet?
So at the end of reading it, I'm considering not bothering with a
re-subscription, they seemed to think that by making it a lame games
magazine then they will increase their ratings. I remember back to some of
the first issues, some {cuseful utilities{a they had on those, now its bloody
{bgame reviews{a and not much else. Except a price increase, so that they can
put another disk worth {b20p{a on the front and charge another quid for it.
On this disk is an out of date and totally useless piece of software, like
another {cpaint package{a. Note that in the magazine a huge one page advert
"Upgrade that piece of shit on that disk, to the latest for 200 quid." Great
thats bloody generous of you cheers!
The only bit which I thought was funny was the last letter of the Letters
section which was written by {gKevin Wigman, Woking.{a
"When I was walking down the high street in my local town centre the other
day, I saw a bloke with a {bwooden leg and a crutch.{a He had a {bhook{a for a hand
and a {bpatch{a over one eye and was ranting on about how he had just had his
hair washed and conditioned and he now couldn't do a thing with it. Later
on, it occurred to me that he was one of these {g"soft-hair pirates"{a we hear
so much about. Next time I see him I'll kick him in the {fcrutch{a, OK?"
{cSphinky/Destiny{a